Marriage with Passion or Routine – It’s Your Choice (Part 2)

Last week we talked about some lessons Jerry and I learned the hard way to put into practice in our marriage. 

I think this week has been the busiest week I can remember in quite some time, and I know how challenging it is to put those suggestions into practice.  However, I realize the consequences of not taking the time necessary to invest in our marriage. 

Jerry and I did have a great weekend together, but since the work week began, it’s been all about marking things off the list for me.  Like I mentioned before, there are just so many things that HAVE to be done. 

However, tonight we will be back out on our patio, listening to music and having dinner together and just enjoying each other’s company. 

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  The wife really is the one who sets the atmosphere of the home.  It’s my choice to focus on what I still need to do or to set my agenda aside and enjoy my husband and family. 

I remember in the days when my kids were small and I was home with them all day, I wanted Jerry to see just how difficult my day had been, and I really looked the part.  The clothes I wore were comfortable but very ugly, and my hair and make up showed I didn’t care. 

The kids were cranky and hungry, and I was not in a good mood.  I couldn’t wait for Jerry to walk in the door so I could tell him all about my hard day.  Quite often there was discipline I had dished out with the kids that he needed to reinforce. 

Unfortunately, it took a separation to see the error of my ways.  I'm not saying these things caused the separation, but they certainly didn't create marriage bliss.  

To improve my marriage, here are the things I learned:

1.              Change clothes, comb my hair and freshen my makeup before Jerry came home.

2.              Give Jerry 15 minutes to unwind and relax before dropping bombs on him about my day.   Maybe having other conversation first is even better.  

3.              Have the kids pick up all the toys so Jerry wouldn’t trip when he came in.

4.              Keep uplifting music playing to set the atmosphere.

By doing these things, Jerry was more relaxed himself and ready to help with the kids.  He was also ready to listen to me talk.

You may work full time and come in after your husband.  If that’s the case, you may have to come up with your own set of rules.  However, I challenge you to find things that work in your home, whatever your circumstances, so you can connect as a couple.