tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5200597738800781862024-03-05T06:23:51.691-07:00Woven Marriage“I want you woven into a tapestry of love.” (Col. 2:2, The Message)Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-49350497508626709812016-10-12T11:09:00.000-07:002016-10-12T11:09:13.887-07:00My Spouse Doesn't Love Me Anymore!<div class="MsoNormal">
To have a really good marriage, it takes both people working together. What if you want a good marriage, but your spouse is not cooperating? Should you just move on, get counseling yourself or should you just grin and bear the way things are?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I wish there was an easy answer to the dilemma you may find yourself in, but there’s not. You might try all the things that the books suggest and still find nothing works. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The best advice I can give to a person is to surrender not only your marriage to God but every part of your life. God is the only one who knows what is in your spouse’s heart. He is the only one who knows what it will take to turn him/her to you and to Him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here are a few things I recommend:<o:p></o:p></div>
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1. Spend time daily with God. Examine your own heart, asking God areas you need to change. The only person you can change is yourself, so be open to hear what needs to change in you. Ask God to prepare you for the day and give you wisdom in all you do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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2. Journal prayers to God. It’s an effective way to process your current situation. Sometimes it’s hard to hear God’s voice because of the turmoil inside. By emptying thoughts, it sometimes helps to then hear God’s voice more clearly. My friend once said it’s like the answer comes at the tip of the pen. She’s right. <o:p></o:p></div>
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3. Find scriptures in the Bible that apply to your situation and pray them every day. I used to put mine on 3x5 cards, but now I have them in my journaling app for reference.<o:p></o:p></div>
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4. Guard your heart by watching what you see and listen to. I’m sure you’ve heard the term “garbage in, garbage out.” If your mind is programmed with positive things, you will be a positive person altogether. <o:p></o:p></div>
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5. Don’t spouse bash to others about your issues. There may be things he/she needs to correct, but it doesn’t help to spread negative words. You can still get people to pray with you for God to strengthen your marriage without sharing too many details. <o:p></o:p></div>
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6. Find one person you can talk with who you can share everything with, preferably a non-family member. Share with other people what God is showing you, telling them you know God is working but you still need prayer. <o:p></o:p></div>
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7. Attend and get involved in a Bible-believing church that will build you up spiritually. <o:p></o:p></div>
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8. Do the things daily God shows you to do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Our surrender to God should not be contingent on our circumstances changing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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God is the only one who can truly satisfy us. Our spouses can’t and will never fill that God-shaped void in our lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
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By filling ourselves up with God, regardless of our circumstances, we can find a place of peace. <o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-12792259557978025212016-01-28T17:04:00.000-07:002016-01-28T21:10:19.260-07:0060 Dating Ideas<div class="p1">
Last week we discussed the challenges of dating after marriage. Upon coming home from work, it’s tempting to just plant in front of the television and watch someone else live their lives instead of adding one more thing to your own.</div>
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We discussed the importance of resting when necessary but not always choosing rest over connecting with your spouse. Even though spending time together at home is great, it also enhances your marriage to just get out together and do something fun. </div>
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When thinking about the investment of time and money, remember couples having fun together rarely divorce. Living in Arizona, we are fortunate because the weather is so good, there’s a lot of outdoor activities we can do. </div>
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I mentioned this week I would make specific suggestions to jump-start your own list. Jerry and I had breakfast out last weekend and started making suggestions to each other. It’s amazing how many things we came up with in a short time. </div>
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We ate in downtown Gilbert and then walked around the farmer’s market. It was a lot of fun and the weather was perfect for it. That’s one thing you can try yourself. </div>
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In addition, here’s a few other things:</div>
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1.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go hiking</div>
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2.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Picnic in the park or by a lake</div>
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3.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a bike ride to a nearby coffee shop or down the canal</div>
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4.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Watching the sunset on the top of South Mountain or even on a parking deck. Downtown Gilbert has a nice one to do that. </div>
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5.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go star-gazing or birdwatching. Check out Riparian Preserve in Gilbert.</div>
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6.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to yard sales, thrift stores or antique stores</div>
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7.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Pick fruit at a local orchard</div>
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8.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Tour the Queen Creek Olive Mill and have breakfast or lunch while there</div>
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9.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a class together, like photography </div>
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10.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take dance lessons</div>
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11.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to the gym together</div>
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12.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Run in an event for charity or even a marathon</div>
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13.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a boat ride (check out Tempe Town Lake for boat rentals)</div>
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14.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a cruise at Canyon Lake or Saguaro Lake. They may even have dinner cruises scheduled.</div>
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15.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to a comedy improv night</div>
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16.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Visit a museum (Art, Musical Instrument Museum, etc.)</div>
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17.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Visit a water park for those hot summer days</div>
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18.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go tubing on the Salt River</div>
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19.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Rent a movie at Redbox, take your computer and find a special spot to have your own drive-in movie</div>
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20.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Look at model homes or open houses </div>
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21.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Volunteer together </div>
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22.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Recreate your first date</div>
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23.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a mini road trip to explore what’s close by</div>
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24.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Drive up north and play in the snow</div>
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25.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Lunch break date during the week, even if your time is short</div>
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26.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Meet after work for appetizers or just coffee/tea before going to a busy household</div>
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27.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to a play. Arizona has many productions. We have discovered <a href="http://www.goldstar.com/">www.goldstar.com</a> has great discounts. Sign up for their newsletter to see the best deals weekly.</div>
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28.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Visit the Desert Botanical Garden</div>
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29.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to Castles N’ Coasters or another amusement park</div>
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30.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Tour Goldfield, a little ghost town near Apache Junction</div>
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31.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Visit the Zoo</div>
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32.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go horseback riding</div>
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33.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a jeep tour</div>
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34.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Tour the Tovrea Castle</div>
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35.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Attend sporting events. </div>
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36.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a hot air balloon ride</div>
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37.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Take a train ride</div>
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38.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Ride the light rail and get off at interesting places, have lunch along the way</div>
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39.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Rent four-wheelers</div>
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40.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go fishing</div>
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41.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Play golf, mini-golf or go to the driving range</div>
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42.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Practice your swings at batting cages </div>
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43.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Ride go-carts </div>
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44.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Visit an arcade and play video games</div>
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45.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go bowling</div>
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46.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Tour the chocolate factory in Glendale and buy some treats. It will be open during the Glendale Chocolate Affaire, a festival in historic Glendale, February 5-7, 2016. </div>
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47.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to the Renaissance Festival (February 6-March 27, 2016), near Apache Junction</div>
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48.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Check online for additional events in the area</div>
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49.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go roller or ice skating</div>
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50.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go water or snow skiing</div>
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51.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Grab ice cream, a smoothie or coffee and go to the park </div>
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52.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go shopping</div>
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53.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to the farmer’s market or flea market</div>
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54.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>The old standby, dinner and a movie</div>
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55.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Attend a concert</div>
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56.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Go to the ballet or opera</div>
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57.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Rent a hotel room, stay overnight. Order room service, enjoy the pool and spa.</div>
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58.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Attend the Chandler Art Walk</div>
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59.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Attend First Friday in Phoenix</div>
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60.<span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Find a classic car show</div>
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This list contains items for the budget conscious and those who just want to splurge. Later, we will also make some at-home date ideas for those times you just prefer to do something more low-key. </div>
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I would suggest, taking turns planning a date night. Keep it a mystery. The element of surprise will make it even better. After trying some of these ideas, post your experiences in the comment section. </div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-35746151237473086422016-01-14T11:16:00.000-07:002016-01-14T11:16:01.594-07:00Dating Your Spouse<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">My wife wants to have regular date nights. I'm so tired after working all week, I just want to put my feet up and rest. And we sure can't afford to be going out all the time. How can we compromise?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Do you remember when you were dating?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It didn’t matter how much you had going on, it was easy to fit in time with your girlfriend/boyfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was excitement and you just wanted to be together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It didn’t matter if you were at a fancy restaurant or taking a walk at the park. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">After marriage, it’s easy to get comfortable, and somewhat laid back when it comes to cultivating your relationship with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the kids come along, it’s even harder to stay connected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">With marriage, there are added responsibilities and things that just sap your time and strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The spouse who is overly exhausted really won’t be much good on a date, I’m sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes putting your feet up is necessary and brings the refreshment you may need to do something at another time, but be sure to not choose rest over your spouse every time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">I find it necessary to be deliberate to connect with Jerry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is hard sometimes to do at home, I will admit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> D</span>istractions have a tendency to come along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">There have been times we have had in-home dates, but we have to put them on the calendar and follow through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, when the kids were young, they went to bed early, and we had candlelight dinners after they went to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This may take some help from both spouses to pull off, but it is well worth the effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Coffee/tea time on the patio also is a good way to end the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are lots of creative ways to connect at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will discuss that on a later post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Beyond at-home connection, I still believe it’s important to ask your spouse on a date occasionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy to put dating at the bottom of the priority list on the budget; however, dating is much cheaper than divorce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s important that we stay connected, and I don’t know of too many couples that divorce that have fun together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Dating can be expensive or even free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Living in Arizona, we are blessed to have great weather, so just going to the park for a picnic, hiking or a ride to take some scenic pictures are great ways to spend time together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">When we first moved to Arizona, our sons were old enough to stay home alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every Saturday morning while they were still sleeping, we would look at a distance and say, “We haven’t explored that direction yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s drive that way and see what we can find.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We made some great memories and found some beautiful places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the time, the boys were still asleep when we got back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">The purpose of dating is to connect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether you do that at home or away is not important, but to create an intimate marriage an investment of your time is required.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS";">Each couple is unique and different, and I would suggest brainstorming together for a few minutes and make a list of things you’d like to do together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then start marking things off as you do them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">Next week, we will explore some specific things to do together as couples.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">You may want to help me out by suggesting some in the comment section.</span></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-22702752433726541622015-08-13T13:10:00.000-07:002015-08-13T13:10:28.598-07:00Marriage Can Be Restored<i>Recently I was going through some files and came across an article Jerry wrote concerning our marriage. I thought I would share that with you today:</i><br />
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A good marriage doesn't just happen. It requires lots of hard work; however, it is well worth the investment. I believe every marriage is a target of the enemy. The interesting thing is he always uses the same strategy. Why? Because it works!<br />
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I found myself after 14 years of marriage falling into that same trap. On the surface we had a picture perfect situation -- nice home, good job, three awesome kids, a couple of pets, and my wife and I were also involved in church leadership. Without going into the details, let's just say our marriage became another statistic. In my mind, it was over. However, God had other plans due to my praying wife.<br />
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After being separated for quite some time, I started to realize the devastation divorce would have not only on my wife and me but also on our children. God allowed me to see the effect it would have on future generations as well. (Exodus 20:5-6)<br />
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Rebuilding our family was as slow as building a real house. In every building project, there are good days and bad. That's the way it was with us. We had to reestablish friendship and learn how to communicate once again. We learned to overlook each other's mistakes and serve each other instead of focusing on our own needs.<br />
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Over time, we were amazed at the love we had for each other. Because of what we have gone through, we are passionate about marriages. We know if our marriage can be saved, so can anyone's. Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16528995461099705048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-51346173915138170662015-05-14T13:09:00.000-07:002015-05-14T13:27:18.047-07:00Guard My Mouth, LORD!<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Psalms 141:3</b></div>
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<i>Set a guard over my mouth, Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips.</i></div>
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We all have probably been on a spiritual high, so to speak, by attending church or a special event in which we felt God really spoke to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels like God can do all things and nothing can hold us back!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Then we go home....</span> </div>
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It happened to Jerry and me not too long ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jerry went to a men’s meeting and came back really inspired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should have asked him questions and listened to what he learned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should have allowed him to bless me with the inspiration he gained.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yet, once he went to the meeting I found something that irritated me to no end, and my anger got the best of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of waiting until the proper time, I blasted Jerry the minute he walked in the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can still see the shock on his face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> That should have been a clue to stop, but</span> I continued on and on and on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I should have received blessing from my husband and instead I blocked it and conflict entered our home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I chose conflict over blessing that day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s not that I should have buried my irritations forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should have just been more sensitive to timing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry at the moment and things were not relayed in a heart of love or in the “I feel…” mentality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were accusing, and I didn’t hear Jerry out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Had I waited and cooled down first, we would have been able to communicate openly and heart-to-heart instead.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I read 2 Samuel 6 recently, the Holy Spirit highlighted my mistake. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>King David moved the ark of God to Jerusalem, and probably felt the presence of God more than ever before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He danced before the Lord with all his might.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His wife, Michal, watched from a window and his method of worship, let’s just say, was not well received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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2 Samuel 6:20 says David was on his way home to bless his household when Michal came out to meet him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t even wait until he got in the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She highly criticized David for what he had done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michal could have received a blessing, but instead she stirred up conflict.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I believe in my heart, had Michal worked through her emotions and reconnected with David, their relationship would have thrived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bible says Michal never had children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know if she cut David off, he just didn’t try anymore or Michal was unable to have children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I do know that fruitfulness in a relationship comes when we work through our grievances in love. Conflict can actually stimulate our relationship if handled properly. God put us together with spouses who are different on purpose. We need balance. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have taught many times how to deal with conflict. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I implement those principles?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When in the moment, sometimes knowledge goes out the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hurt and anger take over and conflict becomes ugly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m thankful for a husband who says, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not to silence the subject forever but just so we can process and give some time to settle emotions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p>Now, I’m on guard and alert, and hope next time I'm tempted to blast Jerry for something I think about timing and take time to process things first. Please learn from my mistake instead of making one yourself. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16528995461099705048noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-84154754091300666742015-02-26T14:31:00.000-07:002015-02-26T14:31:36.682-07:00"Little Things" Make Marriage Extraordinary<div class="MsoNormal">
Allow me to reminisce a little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If my dad was still living, my parents would be celebrating their 60<sup>th</sup> wedding anniversary today.</div>
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My parents were the perfect example of marriage to Jerry and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We miss Dad greatly but know He is enjoying his home in heaven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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My parents loved each other dearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost daily, I woke up to see little love notes my dad left for my mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were just a few words but meant the world to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me as a child, it made me feel secure and set the bar high for the marriage choice I would one day make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I did choose well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband and dad are both amazing men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jerry is an encourager and loves me completely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> If you come to our home, you will see fresh flowers. </span>It’s one of the ways Jerry makes me smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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There are many ways to express love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me challenge you today to find a way to say “I love you” to your spouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am challenged myself to do a better job at showing love to Jerry. </div>
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Whether it’s through gifts, words of encouragement or doing something your spouse wants, it speaks volumes. It doesn’t take long to do "little things," but it will greatly enhance your marriage.</div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-32441357243541718482015-01-23T12:28:00.001-07:002015-01-23T12:28:44.791-07:00"Diamonds" Learned in Marriage<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked down at my finger and was stunned to see the diamond missing from my engagement ring. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The night before, I sang, “Lord you are more precious than silver, Lord, you are more costly than gold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lord, you are more beautiful than diamonds, and nothing I desire compares with you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I meant every word of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s when I let go of my struggling marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew only God could bring me fulfillment, not Jerry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Three weeks later, Jerry moved out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Jerry and I had the perfect marriage, at least for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When God brought us together, He spoke to us both that He had something special for us to do together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a storybook life, three kids, a dog and a cat, but we know, in all good stories, a villain arises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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We were busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know the drill:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kids, sports, home and cars to maintain, an active church life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We used to have regular dates and annual getaways without the kids, but this particular year we skipped them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just didn’t make time for each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Satan’s attack was subtle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It began with little arguments and then Jerry started talking about leaving me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither of us believed in divorce, so I was shocked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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As I began fasting and praying, the Holy Spirit gave me a scripture in a dream one night showing me God would give Jerry a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was relieved I had the answer and thought we could just get on with our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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God was true to His Word, but it was quite some time before it came to pass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout our year and a half separation, God showed me many times He would restore our marriage and we would help others afterwards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends and family confirmed it through things God had shown them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There were days I really didn't care anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was worn out and ready for a new beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of those times, I took Nate, my two-year-old, to a nearby pond to feed the ducks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually, they came quickly to be fed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This particular day we could see them on the other side, but they stayed put.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We called repeatedly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After quite some time, I got impatient and told Nate we just needed to leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bent down to pick him up and was turning back when I noticed the ducks coming across the pond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The Holy Spirit spoke to me clearly, “You can turn and walk away one minute too soon and miss everything I have for you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I turned back and stayed with the ducks that day and decided to wait for God to complete the work in our home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though it was a few months before our marriage was restored, this incident got me through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew God was up to something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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There were many lessons I learned during this time. Here are a few:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The only person I can change is myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->God is with me regardless of my circumstances. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->God is the only one who can satisfy my soul.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->If God gives a Word, it is true and will be fulfilled.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->God’s answers to prayer come differently than expected. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->There’s a reason the Bible says to pray without ceasing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->It’s important to stay on guard and alert at all times.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->God’s plans and purposes will be fulfilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Whether you are facing a marriage crisis or something else, God is capable of turning the situation around and using it for good, just as He did for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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True to God’s Word, we have worked with married and engaged couples for years instilling in them the tools they need to keep their marriage strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry and I have been back together now 23 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He replaced my diamond ring with one bigger and better than the first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look at it, I’m reminded of the miracle God performed in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our marriage became more phenomenal than it ever had been before too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-25312589823390083262015-01-08T16:10:00.000-07:002015-01-09T12:05:34.642-07:00God has Saved the Best for NOW!<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t seem to quit studying John 2:1-11 which is the story
of the wedding in Cana of Galilee. It
is the place Jesus performed his first miracle.
I’ve read many versions, looked at different aspects and have been mulling over every word. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I reflect on the occasion Jesus chose to reveal Himself,
I am fascinated that He chose a wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wonder how frequently people ran out of wine during wedding celebrations in
Bible times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They often went as long as
a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thankful that has changed in
our culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It really spoke to me that Jesus cared about what was going on with this family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had given to their guests till they had nothing left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Jesus was willing to keep this family from being embarrassed. </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
</div>
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In your marriage, if you have given to each other and others till you have nothing left to give, I believe God wants to reveal His glory to you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus told the servants at this wedding to do some crazy things like put water in jars and serve it to the master
of the banquet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The servants didn’t know the
water would turn to wine, but they listened anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God may show you something to do that does not make sense. Don't allow your logic to keep you from obeying His word. The servants had to be willing to do what Jesus said to see the miracle. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe God wants to intervene NOW in your lives. Verse 10 says Jesus "saved the best till now." I pray God moves in your situation today - whatever it is and brings you His BEST. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-76757169118394594972014-11-07T16:30:00.000-07:002014-11-07T16:30:13.308-07:00Be Captivating!<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1 Peter 3:1 (The
Message)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Be good wives to your
husbands, responsive to their needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God,
will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1 Peter 3:1</b> inspired
me this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though this verse
specifically addresses wives, I believe it can also apply to men. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those with Christian spouses can learn from
this verse too. Christian spouses may be more sensitive
to words about God, but they still can be captivated by our lives of holy
beauty. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Often after the wedding, we tend to try to change our spouses instead of being responsive to their needs. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we first became Christians, God didn’t expect us to change before He
accepted us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, Romans 5:8 says,
“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If God could love us in our weaknesses (and we have them,
Christian or not), with Christ’s help, we should be able to love our spouses
unconditionally too, putting them before our own needs. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1 Peter 1:22 </b>in The Message:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Now
that you’ve cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as
if your lives depended on it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SO THIS WEEK:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’ve been trying to change your spouse, STOP.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can only change yourself and that should be your goal -- becoming more Christlike. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about your mate's strengths (not
weaknesses), and express to him/her how fortunate you are to have him/her in
your life.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Words of encouragement mean more than you
can ever know to your spouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
challenge you to be your spouse's best cheerleader by praising him daily.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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In addition, reflect on <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1
Peter 3:1</b> and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1 Peter 1:22</b>, and
let it challenge your way of thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-5014303521327028452014-10-23T13:12:00.000-07:002014-10-23T13:12:46.984-07:00Unconditional LoveI just got back from NC where I spent some time with my mom. My step-dad went to be with the Lord on October 10th. I know it is a difficult time for her. <br />
<br />
On November 11th, they would have been married eight years. They had some great times together. We reminisced about their experiences while we were there. <br />
<br />
Three years ago Bill had a stroke. He recovered somewhat but has had some health issues ever since. There have been good days and bad, but they pressed on together and loved each other despite challenges. <br />
<br />
I watched my mom care for Bill as his health declined -- something I wish no one had to ever experience. She loved him unconditionally every day of his life. The wedding vows promising to love each other "in sickness and in health" took on a deeper meaning for me. <br />
<br />
When I look at what they have gone through, it makes me realize how important it is to cherish everyday with Jerry. It's easy to get caught up in the circumstances of life and take for granted what God has given us together.<br />
<br />
Today, take a moment to appreciate your spouse and your relationship. If it is strained, remember life is fragile and short. Make amends and enjoy life with your spouse. <br />
<br />
<br />Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-64156935843326591052014-09-18T17:32:00.000-07:002014-10-02T14:54:06.389-07:00Timeless Principles to Enhance Marriage<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been reading the book, “How to Win Friends and
Influence People,” by Dale Carnegie in the 1930s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dale Carnegie was an influential man himself
who taught businessmen and professionals how to succeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His suggestions and principles, if applied, would also help
any marriage thrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The recommendations
are timeless and simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In our
fast-paced world, they are easy to forget too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The first principle is “Don’t criticize, condemn or
complain.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m the first to admit, I’ve
failed at this one often in my own marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s easier to treat strangers with respect and overlook their faults
than it is to do in marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because of our relationship, we often feel we can be blunt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would serve us well to use filters for our
words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The scripture is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Death and life are in the power of the
tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I can’t get beyond the first chapter of this book because
it’s a principle I want to make sure I implement in my own marriage. I thought blogging might help me think before speaking. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In any relationship, there will be irritations that occur. I’m not saying
to just bite your tongue and bury things you don't like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I think some examination of your own
heart is necessary before pointing the finger at him or her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I’ve been contemplating how to communicate issues that are not exactly positive to our marriage partners. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Here are some suggestions when tempted to criticize,
condemn or complain:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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situation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
d.<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Is this confrontation really necessary?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Write down the things you want to confront.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Pray about the right timing or decide if you
just need to vent on paper.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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other family members are not close enough to hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you meet in public (like a coffee shop, restaurant
or park) you will be more apt to stay calm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Listen to your spouse's side of the story.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This list is not final by any means, so feel free to add
your own steps in the comment section.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, as you put these things into practice, instead of criticism,
condemnation and complaining, it will become communication, which every
marriage needs to succeed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-14416281852982534642014-09-04T15:15:00.000-07:002014-09-04T15:15:07.256-07:00Take a Stroll Down Memory Lane<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Isaiah 61:3: </b> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am from North Carolina originally and have been in Arizona for 15
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love September in North Carolina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the time when the mornings become much
cooler, and fall sets in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
North Carolina is famous for oak trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the fall, acorns are plentiful and have
always had a special meaning for our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When my dad and mom were dating, dad picked an acorn from
the ground while they were walking and made a ring out of it with his pocket
knife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He put it on my mom and asked
her to marry him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He gave her an engagement ring later, but the significance
of that moment became part of our family heritage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Through the years, acorns appeared around our house in
various forms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether it was a handful
of acorns, a special plaque or a card, acorns became the symbol of love for the
Tunstall home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For me as a child, that spoke of security.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved seeing little reminders of their
beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To this day, acorns mean love to me, and Jerry and I have our fair
share as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you come to our home in
the fall, you will see many of them sitting around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If all of us remembered our early years and beginning, our
marriages may be better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so
tempting to get caught up in the pressure of today and forget about why we are
together in the first place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe you don’t have a specific symbol for your marriage,
but each of us have special memories of those early days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me challenge you this week to take a little stroll down memory lane and talk about some of those fun times that drew you to each other. Then tell your kids so they too will know your history. It will bring smiles to their faces. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-22568212219321465032014-08-21T16:03:00.000-07:002014-08-21T16:03:46.520-07:00Married for Life<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This
week, Shelly and Bob’s marriage is over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not because they had a disagreement or could not get along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God took Bob home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They
were married for 50 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have not
had an opportunity to chat with Shelly about what made their marriage special,
but the day is coming when I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
do know they had a great relationship, one with no regrets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She would probably tell me not to hold
grudges – you never know what tomorrow will bring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">They
enjoyed each other’s company and were great companions for each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life will be difficult for Shelly without
Bob, but she will make it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
talked earlier today about the fact that God had more for her to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally, I think she can be a great
example to the young married couples in this day and time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I want to learn her secrets to a
successful marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Let
me encourage you today to cherish your spouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Life is fragile, and we must be mindful to live each day to the fullest
extent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-28805310844018405502014-08-14T15:45:00.002-07:002014-08-14T15:45:56.092-07:00Focus<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m on my way back from NC where I helped my sister prepare
for her daughter’s wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were busy
for almost a week taking care of all the little details to make the day
special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The setting could not have been
more beautiful and the preparation paid off by everything flowing
smoothly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It always amazes me how many things must be done for such a
short ceremony. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ceremony may be short, but the marriage
is long, and things will be necessary daily to keep it running smoothly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have learned as a wife, marriage is a 24-hour a day, seven
day a week adventure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is just not an
option to take my husband for granted or put him low on the priority list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marriage is bliss only when I learn to let go
of my own expectations and meet my husband’s needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry is a great husband and spoils me a lot, but that can’t
be my focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My responsibility is to
love and serve him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life is so much
better when I put him before myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m thankful for the years we have had together, and if I
had to give my niece one word of advice, it would be FOCUS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
God, focus on hubby, then family and other things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the child-rearing years, it’s so tempting to put the
marriage relationship on the back-burner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve seen it happen far too often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Once the kids are grown (and that comes faster than you can ever
imagine), there is no relationship left unless time is spent connecting through
the years.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How can we focus when life is so crazy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little things make all the difference.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are a few tips:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Be polite to your spouse when you are
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes we are more
irritable at home than with strangers or work associates.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Read 1 Corinthians 13 daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Insert your name and live it out in your
marriage.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Ask him/her if you can get them anything when
you are going in the kitchen or running an errand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Defer to him/her when you watch television together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Share parenting tasks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Share housework and cooking.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Make time after the kids have gone to bed to
talk and connect without the interference of television. Our favorite spot is sitting on the patio together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Work out your differences by listening to each
other’s opinion completely and together decide the best solution.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Spend
time with other couples who have good marriages.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Make time for date nights and occasional
overnight stays together away from home. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Take time to be intimate.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, this is not an exhaustive list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve put this together rather quickly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please comment and add your own
suggestions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-17901367530453764892014-07-24T16:29:00.000-07:002014-07-24T16:29:57.570-07:00Walk in UnityI am so thankful for my husband, and I am so glad God created the institution of marriage for us to be able to share life together. I love him with all my heart and we have raised three awesome boys. Life has been good. God has definitely blessed us.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Marriage is not easy though. There are times we have differing opinions. It's in these times we have to decide whether we will fight each other or work through the differences.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I choose the latter. It's so much better to work through things than let petty things divide us. Satan knows the things that push our buttons and I feel he looks for every opportunity to speak little negative thoughts in our ears. If not Satan, maybe it's just our own flesh that is conjuring up the conflict. Regardless of the source, it's definitely not God. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The point is, by staying in unity, we can accomplish so much more. The Bible says in Matthew 18:19, "If two of you agree on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you." </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We can also hinder prayers by not walking with each other in understanding according to 1 Peter 3:7. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Today if you are struggling to agree with your spouse, take the high road. Set aside the negative feelings and start counting your blessings. When you think of the positive things about your spouse instead of focusing on the negative, life will be a lot sweeter. </div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-91333810342928163882014-07-10T16:13:00.000-07:002014-07-10T16:13:23.778-07:00Come Away My Beloved<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">Jerry and I just returned from a much needed vacation on the California coast. It was awesome being able to get away from the heat in Arizona for a little while and a great time to communicate with each other. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you have never taken time away with just your spouse, let me encourage you to try it. Getting away is not only refreshing physically but it is also a time to reconnect with each other without distractions you may have at home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">Jerry and I have been married 37 years, and when our kids were young we made a decision to take an annual time away from them, usually around our anniversary. It was something we considered as important as paying the electric bill. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think the kids enjoyed us going out of town as much as we did. Most of the time they were with grandparents, although we made other arrangements at times too. Whether it was for one night or an entire week, it’s amazing how much going away did for our marriage. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 13px;">We always had a family vacation too, but by taking a little time for ourselves first, we were better prepared for the pace of the family vacation. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">I believe one of the best things we can do for our kids is to show love for our spouse. It makes them feel secure and models for them what a healthy marriage is to be like. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">Waiting till our kids are grown to take time alone is just not reasonable. If we concentrate on our kids and all they are involved in and don’t nurture our spouse, we probably won’t have much of a relationship by the time they are grown and gone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">Even though we are empty nesters, we still make time for dates and over nighters. It is one of the things that has kept us passionate about each other. Taking ourselves out of routine does wonders for our relationship. I’m sure you will find the same thing happens for you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: Veranda, serif; font-size: 10pt;">There are many vacation deals around Arizona in the summer. Getting away doesn’t have to take you far. Make arrangements for a family member to keep your kids or trade with a friend. It is an investment in your marriage that will pay huge dividends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-19033845642296788372014-06-12T21:44:00.000-07:002014-06-19T14:04:12.386-07:00Happy Father's Day<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Deuteronomy 11:18-21<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span class="reftext"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/11-18.htm"><b><span style="color: #0092f2;">18</span></b></a></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“So
commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands
and wear them on your forehead as reminders.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></i><span class="reftext"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/11-19.htm"><b><span style="color: #0092f2;">19</span></b></a></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Teach them to your
children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road,
when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></i><span class="reftext"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/11-20.htm"><b><span style="color: #0092f2;">20</span></b></a></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Write
them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></i><span class="reftext"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/11-21.htm"><b><span style="color: #0092f2;">21</span></b></a></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">so
that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may
flourish in the land the L</span></i><span class="smallcaps"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-transform: uppercase;">ORD</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">swore to give your
ancestors.</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This Sunday is Father’s
Day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish my dad was around so we
could spend time together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He died many
years ago, and he is still missed greatly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are days I still hear his voice – especially at certain
times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those things he used to say will
always be impressed on my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Dad had a great personality and laughed a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reached out to everyone he met and shared
the love of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad and Mom were very
hospitable and as I grew up, I wanted to model my own home like theirs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not unusual to come in the house and
find my parents praying for hurting people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Healings in their living room were the norm. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I married Jerry, who became another great dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also exudes the presence of God, and has
raised our kids well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must have been
drawn to Jerry because he has the same qualities as my dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of the things I said about my dad are
true of Jerry too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have always modeled our home after my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As our kids were growing up, we invited many
young adults and singles over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of
them had never been around Christian families and our kids needed to be influenced
by young men and women who loved God too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Our kids are now
grown. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They love God with all
their hearts as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two of our three sons are
married and carry on the tradition of reaching out to others together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of our sons became a father this
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure as the years go by, his
daughter will also carry the heritage forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Hopefully one more daughter-in-law and more grandkids will come later - at God's appointed time, of course. </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are so blessed to have the spiritual legacy we have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t take for granted the fact that I grew
up in a Christian home and so did our kids, as will our grandkids.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">If you didn’t grow up in a Christian home, it's never too late to
begin. You can start a new legacy in your family. We
can touch generations by our lifestyle and prayers. </span><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We started praying for our children’s mates and for our
grandkids when they were little boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m sure my parents did the same for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s never too early to begin praying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even though my dad is now gone, his prayers live on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me encourage you to build godly traditions in your own
home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kids model what they see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is up to us to show them how to live the
Christian life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-88193339121637573762014-05-29T10:56:00.000-07:002014-05-29T11:00:01.341-07:00Choose Your Battles Wisely<div class="MsoNormal">
When two people are together, differing opinions occasionally arise. It's just normal and probably a good thing. Jerry keeps me balanced by looking at all sides of things instead of just my opinion. <br />
<br />
In the Old Testament, the Israelite leaders inquired of the
Lord before entering battles to see whether they were supposed to fight. Sometimes they were told to move forward and other times, they knew they were not to fight. If only we could take a step back and pray before entering into a verbal battle with our spouse we would be better off. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> 1 Samuel 23, </b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> after winning a battle God ordained, </span>David heard Saul was in pursuit of him. Instead of attacking Saul, David fled. He recognized King Saul as an authority figure, and knew he must honor Saul’s position and was not ever supposed to battle him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In our marriages, we are to join together against outside
forces and things that seek to divide us – and not against each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we fight battles we are not supposed to
be engaged in, we inflict wounds that God never intended for us to have. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Satan recognizes the unity we
have together as couples, and he will go to great lengths to bring division in
marriages. Let's not wound each other. Instead, let us be wise to
Satan’s schemes, bite our tongues and not say things to each other we might later regret.</div>
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<br />
Learn to hear your spouse out, even if you don't think you will fully agree with what he or she has to say. At least you can acknowledge his or her opinion as valid. <br />
<br />
If a solution can't be reached, it's important to let it go for a while, both of you pray about it and discuss it again later. The key to finding the right solution is being willing for God to change your mind - and you in the process. </div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-8990534464528980492014-05-15T16:52:00.000-07:002014-05-15T16:52:03.400-07:00Happy Anniversary to my Great Husband!<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry and I have been married for 37 years this coming Wednesday,
May 21<sup>st</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are days it
seems we have always been together and also times we wonder where the time
went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our kids are all grown and we have been empty-nesters for
seven years now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because we maintained
our relationship, it has been a good transition for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During the child-rearing years, it is so easy to focus on
the kids and not take time out as a couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We went through that phase too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We learned the hard way we had to stay connected and nurture each other
every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Waiting till the kids were
grown was not an option.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we cultivated our relationship, I am now more in love
with Jerry than ever before. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jerry is
easy to love though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me brag on him
a little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He is an encourager.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Jerry supports whatever I do – and believe me, I’ve done many things –
some of which I didn’t stick with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry is a great father to our three sons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While they were growing up, he was always
there to encourage them to go for their dreams. The memory of him praying on
his knees by their bedsides in the middle of the night is etched in my
mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are all successful adults
today, and I believe Jerry’s influence made a huge difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry has a generous heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He doesn’t consider himself but gives whenever God prompts him to give –
money or time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also gives to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He encourages me to spend money on
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the flipside, I don’t take
advantage of his bigheartedness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry spoils me on the weekends, often cooking for me or
taking me out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He makes sure I have
fresh flowers on the table all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry is a hard worker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everywhere he has ever worked, he treats like his own business by giving
100%.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know he gets tired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His schedule is a tough one, but he just
keeps on going day in and day out to provide for us, not complaining about how
weary I know he really is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry is a great listener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He recognizes my need to connect with conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure after talking all day, it would be
easier to veg in front of the television but he makes time to talk with me instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, we do watch some television but it’s not
the priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite Jerry’s grueling work schedule, he still manages to
spend time in the presence of the Lord, even though he has to get up at 4:00 am
to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is a good example to
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he can get up that early, I have
no excuse for missing my time alone with God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He covers our home with prayer
and that makes me feel secure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He has men he is accountable to – even though the only time
they can get together is by telephone at 5:30 am weekly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also has invested in many young men
throughout the years who are now great husbands, fathers and spiritual leaders
themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry Gray is the love of my life, and I am so grateful to
God for blessing me with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: #FDFEFF; color: #001320; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope the things I shared about Jerry will
challenge you to become a sharper person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-25289845214456663392014-05-08T15:47:00.001-07:002014-05-08T15:47:15.425-07:00Make Allowance for Each Other's Faults<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ephesians 4:2-3 (Living Bible)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making
allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. </span><b><sup><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3 </span></sup></b></i><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>Try always
to be led along together by the Holy Spirit and so be at peace with one another.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Bible is the best place I know to get advice on how to
have a great marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are some
specific verses that deal with marriage and many more deal with every day relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In Ephesians 4, we are encouraged to be patient with each
other and make allowances for each other’s faults. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s easier said than done!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Verse 3 gives us the answer to walk it out:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Try always to be led along together by the Holy
Spirit.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I make time to spend in the presence of God, I am more
pleasant to be around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I can always tell when I've skipped a few days because</span> it affects the way I think which in turn affects the
way I speak and act.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When Jerry and me both have our daily time with God, we are
more at peace with each other and everything else going on around us as
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is being “rooted and grounded
in His love” that enables us to stand firm against the stresses of our lives
and walk together in unity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="background-color: white;">It may be a challenge to carve out time in your busy household, but believe me, what you gain in peace makes it worth it. </span></span></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-21529724731978044282014-05-01T15:16:00.001-07:002014-05-01T15:16:56.118-07:00Seasons of Marriage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPwVPgrMSeWyt5E-Rj94kRCmBR2PsYIMXtI6v0dah6DRSTX05uJc3mTCl2mxaRrPV-1SxY32vEB5dfVFnhMPneQt3rnAL9lviiNC9bGR8fbLPZR8Dr-ZLTE9fHT9_nFcuS0TC2XbrpgXo/s1600/IMG955646.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPwVPgrMSeWyt5E-Rj94kRCmBR2PsYIMXtI6v0dah6DRSTX05uJc3mTCl2mxaRrPV-1SxY32vEB5dfVFnhMPneQt3rnAL9lviiNC9bGR8fbLPZR8Dr-ZLTE9fHT9_nFcuS0TC2XbrpgXo/s1600/IMG955646.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This past week our oldest son, Erik, and daughter-in-law, Lauren, had
a baby (our first grandchild).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It flooded
me with memories of when Erik was born himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never knew a baby could require so much time and
attention. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were so blessed to have
Erik (and his two brothers later on), and we loved every minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the amount of focus needed was a
surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There will be many seasons in marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life with a newborn is a season when each
marriage partner must give the other more grace than normal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For one, when we are physically and mentally exhausted it is
easy to become impatient with each other and say things we don’t really
mean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1 Kings 19</b> is the story of Elijah after
a huge spiritual victory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t go
into the details here, but you can read about it in <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1 Kings 18</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Elijah was
physically and spiritually exhausted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
told the Lord he had had enough and prayed God would take his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead Elijah slept and God sent an
angel to feed him and give him water to drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he put him back to sleep and woke him up
again for more food and water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You may not have a new baby, but maybe your life is just
full of extra challenges right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
wonder how in the world you can even think about carving out extra time to
sleep or do anything to take care of yourself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In observing many couples throughout the years, I have
learned, we can push ourselves for a while, but we must not allow that to
become a lifestyle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It will come back to bite us. </span>Even this week a
friend of mine was sick because she went too many nights with only a few hours
sleep due to a project she was working on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My wise daughter-in-law is learning to sleep when the baby
sleeps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We, in our own season, must
learn to implement whatever solution we can come up with to remedy our own
challenging schedule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When traveling by plane, the airline attendants
say, “If the cabin pressure drops, an oxygen mask will come down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Put it on you first and then on your
child.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reality is, it is necessary to take care of ourselves so
we can do all the things required of us as moms, dads or spouses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it easy to do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes it takes a lot of creativity to carve out even a little
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In addition to sleep, eating properly and drinking enough
water, figure out what it is that brings you joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people like shopping, exercising or
reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others just love sitting at
Starbucks and having a cup of coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whatever it is that refreshes you, I encourage you this week to escape
for even a few minutes to become refreshed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You will be amazed how taking even a little time for yourself can actually
connect you with your spouse and give you more energy to pour into each other and the family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-924036441205871412014-04-24T14:26:00.002-07:002014-04-24T14:26:12.292-07:00Marriage with Passion or Routine – It’s Your Choice (Part 2)<div class="MsoNormal">
Last week we talked about some lessons Jerry and I learned
the hard way to put into practice in our marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think this week has been the busiest week I can remember
in quite some time, and I know how challenging it is to put those suggestions
into practice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I realize the
consequences of not taking the time necessary to invest in our marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry and I did have a great weekend together, but since the
work week began, it’s been all about marking things off the list for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I mentioned before, there are just so
many things that HAVE to be done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, tonight we will be back out on our patio, listening
to music and having dinner together and just enjoying each other’s
company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy,
ain’t nobody happy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wife really is
the one who sets the atmosphere of the home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s my choice to focus on what I still need to do or to set my agenda
aside and enjoy my husband and family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember in the days when my kids were small and I was
home with them all day, I wanted Jerry to see just how difficult my day had
been, and I really looked the part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
clothes I wore were comfortable but very ugly, and my hair and make up showed I
didn’t care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kids were cranky and hungry, and I was not in a good
mood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t wait for Jerry to walk
in the door so I could tell him all about my hard day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quite often there was discipline I had dished
out with the kids that he needed to reinforce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Unfortunately, it took a separation to see the error of my ways. I'm not saying these things caused the separation, but they certainly didn't create marriage bliss. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To improve my marriage, here are the things I learned:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Change clothes, comb my hair and freshen my
makeup before Jerry came home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Give Jerry 15 minutes to unwind and relax before
dropping bombs on him about my day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe having other conversation first is even better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Have the kids pick up all the toys so Jerry
wouldn’t trip when he came in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Keep uplifting music playing to set the atmosphere.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By doing these things, Jerry was more relaxed himself and
ready to help with the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was also
ready to listen to me talk.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You may work full time and come in after your husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that’s the case, you may have to come up
with your own set of rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I
challenge you to find things that work in your home, whatever your
circumstances, so you can connect as a couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-72370033288964422552014-04-17T14:55:00.001-07:002014-04-17T14:55:57.312-07:00Marriage with Passion or Routine - It's Your Choice<div class="MsoNormal">
A passionate marriage will not just happen. It requires hard work, but it is extremely
fulfilling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we get married we are so “in love” that we don’t think
we will ever drift apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, as
we’ve all probably discovered, marriage can become routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are just so many daily things that HAVE
to be done.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your list will be different than mine, but it doesn’t matter
what phase of life you are in, it becomes filled with activity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After working, family life, our homes, and
church there is little time left for romance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just as our homes will not maintain themselves, neither will
our marriages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We must be deliberate to
keep the flame burning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jerry and I learned the hard way it is necessary to do daily
little things to keep our relationship fresh and vibrant.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We never used the “D” word in our house, but about 23 years
ago we found ourselves facing divorce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We were separated for 1 ½ years, and by all outward appearances, there
was no hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, God had other
plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We drifted apart so subtly we didn’t even realize what was
happening until it was too late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
were just busy – too busy to even notice the distance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may know the drill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:11 (The Message) regarding the
Israelites:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“These are all warning
markers…written down so that we don’t repeat their mistakes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have heard it said, you can learn either from mistakes or
mentors. Please be willing to learn from
our mistakes so you can have an exciting marriage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once God restored our lives, there was no way around it, our
priorities had to be reordered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here
are some things we learned:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Get a babysitter at least weekly for a date
night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Study each other to know each other’s likes and
dislikes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Use verbal appreciation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->For me, I had to lighten up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life had become too serious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have
you ever heard of a couple having fun together getting a divorce?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->We had to make the things that were important to
each other a priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, if
Jerry asked me to do something for him, I had to make the time to do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Especially since he doesn’t ask much of
me.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Listen to each other talk – really listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means time has to be carved out to make
it happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s tempting to come home at night and veg in
front of the television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can either
watch someone else’s life or live your own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->We found a hobby we enjoyed doing together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
creates friendship and enhances communication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Make time for sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a busy family, it may not just
happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Planning just creates
expectation and excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">9. Go away overnight or longer if possible with your spouse annually. Talk about your favorite memories throughout the year and plan some fun things to look forward to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">10. Spend time daily with God. Although this is #10, it should be your #1 priority. When we are conformed to the image of Christ, we will be better spouses for each other. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is not an exhaustive list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many things I could add.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may want to suggest some of your own in
the comment section.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-4242064004247658462013-08-09T10:38:00.000-07:002016-01-14T11:53:53.308-07:00Marriage on the Rock<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Marriage is under fire in our country today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Divorce is rampant in our country, and the statistics are no different for Christians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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It’s my belief that the church will be no stronger than the couples in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the Bible, God compared the church to marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wives are told to respect their husbands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Our relationship may be the only example of Christ our neighbors, coworkers and friends observe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are they learning?</div>
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Christ, our Rock, causes our marriages to be stronger than ever. Building our lives on Him as our foundation is wise. </div>
Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520059773880078186.post-91033739910710113832013-04-11T10:47:00.000-07:002016-01-14T11:50:02.539-07:00Demonstrate Love<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Can you remember when you were dating?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s nothing like watching people fall in love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They walk with a spring in their step.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their countenance is shining, and they can’t seem to spend enough time in this new relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have heard it said, “Love is blind,” and in working with couples, I find that is true in many cases.</div>
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Jerry and I try to prepare people for marriage by getting them in touch with reality, but it is often difficult for them to truly see their fiancé’s faults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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It doesn’t take long after they say, “I do,” for those little things that were so cute before the wedding to now become irritations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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You may have made the perfect choice by marrying your spouse, but learning how to love him/her is key. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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God made husbands and wives different for a reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If both spouses were the same, one of them would be unnecessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
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Learning how to love each other’s unique and quirky personalities is so important to make your love last forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's also essential to identify what your spouse's needs are and discover how to meet them. </span></div>
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Debbie Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16328613706500925617noreply@blogger.com0