A passionate marriage will not just happen. It requires hard work, but it is extremely
fulfilling.
When we get married we are so “in love” that we don’t think
we will ever drift apart. However, as
we’ve all probably discovered, marriage can become routine. There are just so many daily things that HAVE
to be done.
Your list will be different than mine, but it doesn’t matter
what phase of life you are in, it becomes filled with activity. After working, family life, our homes, and
church there is little time left for romance.
Just as our homes will not maintain themselves, neither will
our marriages. We must be deliberate to
keep the flame burning.
Jerry and I learned the hard way it is necessary to do daily
little things to keep our relationship fresh and vibrant.
We never used the “D” word in our house, but about 23 years
ago we found ourselves facing divorce.
We were separated for 1 ½ years, and by all outward appearances, there
was no hope. However, God had other
plans.
We drifted apart so subtly we didn’t even realize what was
happening until it was too late. We
were just busy – too busy to even notice the distance. You may know the drill.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:11 (The Message) regarding the
Israelites: “These are all warning
markers…written down so that we don’t repeat their mistakes.”
I have heard it said, you can learn either from mistakes or
mentors. Please be willing to learn from
our mistakes so you can have an exciting marriage.
Once God restored our lives, there was no way around it, our
priorities had to be reordered. Here
are some things we learned:
1.
Get a babysitter at least weekly for a date
night.
2.
Study each other to know each other’s likes and
dislikes.
3.
Use verbal appreciation.
4.
For me, I had to lighten up. Life had become too serious. Have
you ever heard of a couple having fun together getting a divorce?
5.
We had to make the things that were important to
each other a priority. For instance, if
Jerry asked me to do something for him, I had to make the time to do it. (Especially since he doesn’t ask much of
me.)
6.
Listen to each other talk – really listen. That means time has to be carved out to make
it happen. It’s tempting to come home at night and veg in
front of the television. You can either
watch someone else’s life or live your own.
7.
We found a hobby we enjoyed doing together. It
creates friendship and enhances communication.
8.
Make time for sex. With a busy family, it may not just
happen. Planning just creates
expectation and excitement.
9. Go away overnight or longer if possible with your spouse annually. Talk about your favorite memories throughout the year and plan some fun things to look forward to.
10. Spend time daily with God. Although this is #10, it should be your #1 priority. When we are conformed to the image of Christ, we will be better spouses for each other.
This is not an exhaustive list. There are many things I could add. You may want to suggest some of your own in
the comment section.
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