Monday, November 7, 2011

Keep Your Marriage Strong

Proverbs 5:18
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

As I reflect on our last blog post, I am still stirred about how important it is to protect your marriage relationship.

If you are emotionally and physically connected to your spouse, taking the time to nurture each other, temptation will not have much power over you.  That's why it's so important to enjoy life together.

In our day and time, let's face it.  Life is hectic.  It takes a lot to stay connected to your spouse.  You must be deliberate in your actions to keep the flame burning. 

In most cases when an affair occurs, if the straying spouse would have put as much energy in the marriage relationship as he did with the new person, his marriage would be strong and satisfying. 

My recommendation--if you are going to flirt, do so with your spouse.  If you want to have lunch with someone, call your spouse to meet you at the restaurant.  Meet your spouse secretly for a few minutes after work to connect together before facing a busy household.  

Keep your business relationships business and your relationship with your spouse, intimate.  You will be glad you did. 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


2 Corinthians 4:1-2 (The Message)
Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times. We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don't maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don't twist God's Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.

Quite often we wear masks around each other instead of being real.  Even when struggling, we often are silent.   When we ask someone how they are doing, we often hear, “Fine.”  It has just gotten to be a greeting instead of an answer to how we really are.

In our marriages, some of you may be hurting.   You may not want to dishonor your spouse, so you just keep your mouth shut.   It is wise not to tell everyone your problems, but it is good to have someone you can be accountable to.   

Either join a small group or find someone to connect with and pray with regularly.   We should also take precautions to prevent us from entering into temptation.   One way Jerry and I have done this is by making a written list of what we call “Hedges” to protect our marriage.  For more details, see our previous blog posts, "How to Keep Your Marriage Sizzling, Parts 1 and 2.”  

If you say, “I love my spouse and would never do anything to harm my marriage,” watch out.  You are among the most vulnerable.  We are all human and subject to failure.  Satan is often so subtle, it can happen without you even realizing it.  Then the trap door comes down, and you're caught!

I heard it said, “Remind yourself on a regular basis of the price of sin.”   It will be fun for a while, but then it becomes pain and hurt of the worst kind.   Don’t go there.  The road is hard and long to get back on track.  It is not worth it. 

God’s commandments are not to prevent us from having fun but to protect us from the pain we will experience if we step over the line.   

This week, make a point to become accountable to someone and establish some written hedges with your spouse if you have not already done so.  Also, “Enjoy life with the wife (or husband) of your youth.”   (Proverbs 5:18)