To have a really good marriage, it takes both people working together. What if you want a good marriage, but your spouse is not cooperating? Should you just move on, get counseling yourself or should you just grin and bear the way things are?
I wish there was an easy answer to the dilemma you may find yourself in, but there’s not. You might try all the things that the books suggest and still find nothing works.
The best advice I can give to a person is to surrender not only your marriage to God but every part of your life. God is the only one who knows what is in your spouse’s heart. He is the only one who knows what it will take to turn him/her to you and to Him.
Here are a few things I recommend:
1. Spend time daily with God. Examine your own heart, asking God areas you need to change. The only person you can change is yourself, so be open to hear what needs to change in you. Ask God to prepare you for the day and give you wisdom in all you do.
2. Journal prayers to God. It’s an effective way to process your current situation. Sometimes it’s hard to hear God’s voice because of the turmoil inside. By emptying thoughts, it sometimes helps to then hear God’s voice more clearly. My friend once said it’s like the answer comes at the tip of the pen. She’s right.
3. Find scriptures in the Bible that apply to your situation and pray them every day. I used to put mine on 3x5 cards, but now I have them in my journaling app for reference.
4. Guard your heart by watching what you see and listen to. I’m sure you’ve heard the term “garbage in, garbage out.” If your mind is programmed with positive things, you will be a positive person altogether.
5. Don’t spouse bash to others about your issues. There may be things he/she needs to correct, but it doesn’t help to spread negative words. You can still get people to pray with you for God to strengthen your marriage without sharing too many details.
6. Find one person you can talk with who you can share everything with, preferably a non-family member. Share with other people what God is showing you, telling them you know God is working but you still need prayer.
7. Attend and get involved in a Bible-believing church that will build you up spiritually.
8. Do the things daily God shows you to do.
Our surrender to God should not be contingent on our circumstances changing.
God is the only one who can truly satisfy us. Our spouses can’t and will never fill that God-shaped void in our lives.
By filling ourselves up with God, regardless of our circumstances, we can find a place of peace.