Set a guard over my mouth, Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips.
We all have probably been on a spiritual high, so to speak, by attending church or a special event in which we felt God really spoke to us. It feels like God can do all things and nothing can hold us back! Then we go home....
It happened to Jerry and me not too long ago. Jerry went to a men’s meeting and came back really inspired. I should have asked him questions and listened to what he learned. I should have allowed him to bless me with the inspiration he gained.
Yet, once he went to the meeting I found something that irritated me to no end, and my anger got the best of me. Instead of waiting until the proper time, I blasted Jerry the minute he walked in the door. I can still see the shock on his face. That should have been a clue to stop, but I continued on and on and on.
I should have received blessing from my husband and instead I blocked it and conflict entered our home. I chose conflict over blessing that day.
It’s not that I should have buried my irritations forever. I should have just been more sensitive to timing. I was angry at the moment and things were not relayed in a heart of love or in the “I feel…” mentality. They were accusing, and I didn’t hear Jerry out.
Had I waited and cooled down first, we would have been able to communicate openly and heart-to-heart instead.
As I read 2 Samuel 6 recently, the Holy Spirit highlighted my mistake. King David moved the ark of God to Jerusalem, and probably felt the presence of God more than ever before. He danced before the Lord with all his might. His wife, Michal, watched from a window and his method of worship, let’s just say, was not well received.
2 Samuel 6:20 says David was on his way home to bless his household when Michal came out to meet him. She didn’t even wait until he got in the house. She highly criticized David for what he had done. Michal could have received a blessing, but instead she stirred up conflict.
I believe in my heart, had Michal worked through her emotions and reconnected with David, their relationship would have thrived. The Bible says Michal never had children. I don’t know if she cut David off, he just didn’t try anymore or Michal was unable to have children.
I do know that fruitfulness in a relationship comes when we work through our grievances in love. Conflict can actually stimulate our relationship if handled properly. God put us together with spouses who are different on purpose. We need balance.
We have taught many times how to deal with conflict. Did I implement those principles? No. When in the moment, sometimes knowledge goes out the window. Hurt and anger take over and conflict becomes ugly.
I’m thankful for a husband who says, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” It’s not to silence the subject forever but just so we can process and give some time to settle emotions.
Now, I’m on guard and alert, and hope next time I'm tempted to blast Jerry for something I think about timing and take time to process things first. Please learn from my mistake instead of making one yourself.