Thursday, October 22, 2009

Marriages Walls of Protection

Jerry and I believe that one of the benefits of marriage is to be able to join together as one and be a powerful spiritual force that can withstand any enemy. The Bible tells us in Deut. 32:30 that one can put a thousand to flight and two can put ten thousand to flight. It’s so important for us to be watchful and not invite the enemy into our homes.

In Bible times, city walls were erected to keep the enemy out and they posted watchman 24/7 on top of the walls to make sure no enemy was even at a distance.

Communication touches all areas in our marriage relationship. We feel marriage boundaries or hedges are important.  Because Satan is so subtle, it is important to have firm boundaries established before a problem arises.

If you are communicating intimately with your spouse and are meeting each other’s needs, the walls of protection remain strong. However, when you allow little things to come between you, it opens the door for other things and people to get in the way of your closeness.

In such an age of technology, keeping connected with people is easier than ever before. Making phone calls and sending endearing emails, texts, etc. to your spouse are ways to connect & keep the marriage fires burning. On the flipside, doing these things to anyone besides your spouse can hinder your relationship.

What about lunches and coffee breaks at work? Although a business lunch may be necessary occasionally, keeping it strictly business is wise. Once you begin talking about personal things, it could spiral into something before you even realize it. Be sure to stay on guard and alert in these situations.

Jerry and I also make it a boundary not to go places in a vehicle with someone of the opposite sex alone. If it becomes necessary because of work or something unavoidable, we let the other spouse know – and we don’t make it a routine practice. When I was in a youth group (more years ago than I want to admit), my youth pastor began giving another woman a ride to work. He and his wife were very close to the coworker and her husband and often did things as a foursome. What started out as just helping a friend eventually destroyed two families and caused devastation to our youth group.

This is a subject that could go on and on. Entire books have been written about it. Obviously, this barely scratches the surface. We would love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Just click on “comment” below. You can either sign your name or remain anonymous.


  1. Some people think that we go "overboard" or have become "legalistic" when we choose NOT to ride in cars with the opposite sex, or have lunch/dinner with a co-worker or even minister to someone of the opposite sex. We are a testimony of how an "innocent" meeting to try to "win someone to Christ" turned into an affair. I pray that married couples everywhere would "go overboard" in protecting their marriages!

  2. Thank you Debbie and Jerry for allowing God to use you in this vital ministry, as I have said to you both this is Spiritual warfare at its best. You are helping strengthening marriages one truth at a time. I want to confirm in our own marriage that whenever we are united and communicating we accomplish mighty works in the kingdom. This might be as important as our children knowing we are a united front and will not be tricked by any divide and rule tactics by them approaching each of separately trying to find the weak link or something as trivial as me sharing my work experiences with Victory.
    I remember I shared about a Christian lady I worked with and that she was going on a trip and this turned out to be a connection point when Victory met this lady at a Bible Study fellowship. I had no idea when I told Victory about this lady that they would both be attending the same bible study. It is important not to keep secrets from each other as we are Spiritual beings and a Holy people designed and created for the glory of God. As you mentioned unity in the Spirit between married couples is as vital to us as bullet proof vests or armor plating! Ephesians 6 talks about the belt of truth as part of the Christian armor in the same way it must be around our marriages. I encourage you to create an aura of truth, the definition of truth extended to not just telling lies but also not keeping secrets from each other. I believe the marriage has a Spiritual conscience and like our own personal conscience it can be sharpened by increasing our sensitivity to truth or dulled and seared by lies and omissions